entry#1 Madame (mADAMe)
As I’m laying on his chest and rubbing on his side
I begin to feel more alive
and then he calls me mADAMe
from where I was derived from.
created to help him,
lift him and then become elevated
without or within, it
doesn’t really matter we are one
Interconnected how my father created it to be
I want to love him
I want to whisper sweet nothings in his ear
but also some bitter something’s
Some thing that will
make him more ambitious than his former.
Make him reach for something that seems to far
similar to the holy spirit
or maybe it’s extended voice
that pushes him to pray about it
rely on God for it, go to God with it
and grow in his design.
Follow his will and
there I will be.
entry#2 Let Go
I can close my eyes and almost see my acrylic white nails leaving trails on the wood floor ,
Last week it was red polish on the white walls, I tried to stay in the room that God was closing the door on.
Getting manis & pedis no longer worked, looking good doesn’t make me feel good.
As I am being dragged,
Trying to claw my way back ... and God keeps telling me Let it go.
entry #3 A note to my future husband
May God make his face to shine upon you, smiling at you & tilting his sun towards you.
May peace live with your thoughts, even the unwanted ones.
May I love every crevice, & have a niche for your shortcomings,
so that I would complete the length that it takes to please God.
And May I love you like he loves you
even more to be an extension of his heart towards you.
May I trust you, & never let you go.
entry #4 When
Every woman deserves the moment when
He doesn’t have to tell you you’re beautiful
You already can tell by the gentle & intense gaze he gives you
or how his eyes follow your mouth & lips as it tilts and curls when you laugh.
It’s when his eyes become cracked windows & you can glimpse into his soul
It’s when you already know the love is there
And you don’t have to hear those 3 words, you feel it.
And then he says it anyway.
entry #5 Over
You were my lover turned stranger and nothing felt stranger
than being around you, I pieced the puzzle together
it was broken for a reason
It was broken for a reason
We were broken on repeat and dangerously needed to
to come to peace with this reality.
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